One way to quieten your inner critic
Our inner critic can get rowdy as we step into new challenges, and there are various ways of calming it down. I hope what I share here is useful food for thought, as you contend with yours...
In May 2020, I was ready to grow my impact and wanted to begin offering public workshops. I had never facilitated a group online event before, nor offered ‘open access’ events.
It was something I had thought about for a couple of years, but my inner critical voice had stepped in and stopped me: “Who do you think you are?” it said “No one will come.”
But this time I managed to calm this part of me to a murmur. Here is how:
For the very first workshop, I decided to create an experience for myself that felt safe and enjoyable. Rather than offering it out on LinkedIn as a first move, I invited people I had coached before, people who ‘got’ me and my work. I also asked a friend to join me and invisibly ‘cheer’ from the back of the virtual room.
And something magical happened in the company of the twelve leaders who came along: The harsh critical inner voice quietened, and I felt inspired and able to take a bolder step next time.
Since then, I've welcomed more than 200 people to my pop-up workshops, and they have become one of my favourite parts of my work schedule.
I've been able to hone my skills as a facilitator, experiment with new content, and the sessions have led to many fruitful conversations, collaborations and new connections.
Walking the path towards greater meaning is both enlivening and vulnerable.
As we begin a new phase in our journey, being in environments that feel nurturing is as important as pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone. They go hand in hand.
What you want to bring into the world as a leader is like a small piece of kindling that needs to be tended. The flame is small. It is flickering. And it might be extinguished (at least in the short-term) by a douse of cold water in the form of clumsy feedback, or a row of folded arms.
At first, why not find places where the flame will be gently fanned so it can grow and withstand more challenging environments? Environments where it is most deeply needed.
Not thrusting ourselves into the biggest, boldest opportunity right at the start isn’t playing small. It is not shying away. Choosing something that feels both stretching and nurturing, for many of us, is a more viable and expansive route to choose.
It is more likely that you will keep going. And as you do, what feels safe expands.
So will you. So will your impact. So will the joy in the journey.
