An alternative approach to reviewing the year

It’s that time of year when we are repeatedly invited to reflect on the past twelve months and decide what we will achieve in the next. Perhaps like me, as 2021 draws to a close you are noticing more resistance than usual to this.

The other day as I attempted to sit down and reflect on the year, I found myself clearing down my inbox instead. To me, right now, 2021 feels indigestible. It feels like five years, and at the same time, like no time has passed since the ‘locked-down’ Christmas of 2020.

Rather than push through my discomfort, I talked it through with my own coach. She helped me land on an approach that feels far more authentic than a month-by-month review or asking myself a set of bog-standard questions:

The exercise is to create a map which visually represents how you spend your energy. By energy I mean both ‘doing’, time-spent energy, and emotional/thinking energy.

My drawing skills are limited to say the least :) so this is how I have approached it…

- Write your name in the centre of a piece of paper

- Around it, write down the names of the people in your life, as well as activities you are engaged in. People might include your family, friends, boss, team, other stakeholders. Activities might include key parts of your role, hobbies, care-giving responsibilities, chores, use of social media

- Draw arrows to each, with the length and thickness of the arrow representing how much energy you expend on the relationship or activity. It might be that something you don't spend a lot of time doing, but that you find yourself thinking about a lot, warrants a big arrow

- Then, draw an arrow from the person or the activity to your name, representing how much energy you receive from each

- As you 'size' the arrows, go with your gut. As an example, on my map, I drew a long, fat arrow to one name, where I seem to spend a lot of energy thinking about a relationship, and the arrow coming back to me was a faint, dotted line

I am adding to my map each day as different pieces occur to me and reflecting on what it is revealing. My map is simmering.

Already, this has helped me become more aware of unreasonable expectations I place on myself, that are no one else’s but mine. I am also noticing relationships I feel called to place more and less attention on next year. A mixture of emotions are popping up, and for now I am allowing these feelings to surface, and trusting that what this means in terms of action will become clear, as I rest and resource myself over the coming weeks.

And this is key, the idea is not to move straight into action – but to explore this over time and get curious.

A question to ask yourself as you reflect on your map is simply ‘what am I noticing?’ In this way you are likely to reveal more authentic insights, that point you towards what is most meaningful for you.

I hope this post is useful. Email me at claire@clairemackinnon.com with your reflections, comments and questions, or join the conversation on LinkedIn.

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